To Be Human
by DawnrunnerMoon
Summary: Envy is wallowing in his own misery and self-hate, alone in the cold, dark night. Who would show up, but the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric. Can Ed make Envy realize that he isn't alone, and that he isn't terrible? Can Ed show Envy what it is to be human? EdxEnvy one-shot.


**This is my first EdxEnvy fic and I hope you like it. Please reveiw! I don't own fullmetal alchemist, or the characters.**

Envy curled in on himself. He dug his fingernails into his sides and tried to ignore the freezing wind that was biting at his skin and whipping his hair around his face. Envy had gone to the roof thinking that he could tough it out in the cold but, yet again, that was just him trying to boost his low self-esteem, which had really hit rock bottom. He scowled and averted his gaze from … what exactly? What was he trying to avoid?

"Tch." Envy pulled his knees up to his chest and let his hair hang in front of his face. Sometimes, he managed to convince himself the he really believed that he was better than everybody. This was not one of those times.

Envy was pretty sure he had everyone else fooled, though. They all thought he was a little bitch who looked down on them. But Envy only did that because he knew that if they truly understood him, they would be the ones looking down on somebody, and that somebody would be Envy.

"Shit," he muttered, finding that the meager amount of clothing he wore every day was not helping to fight the cold, and was not going to stop the shivers coursing through his body.

"Shit," Envy said again, and dug his fingernails into his palm, this time. Why could he never do anything right? And not just that, why did he do everything wrong? Was he really going to have to live the rest of his life constantly being ridiculed, humiliated, and bested? Nothing he had ever done had been enough to get praise from Father, and then there were the other homunculi. They'd just stand there, not even doing anything and everyone could tell that they were better than him. Why couldn't he ever be the good one? Only getting noticed when he screwed up, Envy'd finally succeed, and he'd be outshined by one of the others.

And now here he was, alone, cold, and miserable. But that was fine with Envy. That's what he deserved, right? He was disgusting, a pathetic creature, really. Constantly trying to escape from his own pitiful existence. That's what he was trying to avoid, himself. But he couldn't. Envy liked to stay away from mirrors because, if living wasn't enough, they forced him to remember who he was, and he was nothing, and would never have what everyone else had.

You'd think that being able to shape shift would help, and it did at first, but not anymore. No matter how many times he changed his face, he could never change who he was on the inside. To make matters worse, shape shifting reminded him that he was not, and would never be, human. Envy had contemplated-no, obsessed over-why he was jealous of humans. They were, in fact, weak, frail, and of course, not immortal. But that's not what was really important. For instance, they had families. And not fucked up families like Envy's, where he and his so called "siblings" had been created by their so called "father" to be the seven deadly sins. There was nothing that made that a family. It was missing everything, everything that Envy wanted. That's putting it lightly, it was missing everything that Envy craved. And he did crave. That's all he could do. Because, if there was one thing that Envy was absolutely sure of, it was that he would never have what he wanted. He was Envy after all, and that was all he knew, jealousy.

Envy ran his hands across his arms and felt goose bumps all over them. A gust of wind pushed his hair away from his face, and it was so strong that his eyes watered. Rubbing the tears away before they could fall down his face, Envy's scowl deepened.

"It's so fucking cold!" he yelled out, trying to release his pent up anger in one reigned in shout.

"Well then . . ."

Envy froze as he felt something soft drop onto his head.

"If it's so fucking cold, then put on some clothing."

Envy grabbed what was on his head and pulled it off. It was red. It was a large red coat. Envy's brain exploded in a wave of thoughts and emotions. What was Edward Elric doing here? Why was he giving him his coat? Why was he not trying to kill him? But Envy struggled to grasp what he was really feeling at the moment so, desperately, he uttered one word.

"Pipsqueak!"

Envy expected the enraged reaction that the Fullmetal Alchemist usually gave when teased in this way but instead, the golden haired boy just sighed. Ed leaned over and then lowered himself to the ground. He crossed his legs and sat down next to the homunculus.

Envy frowned and glared at the boy next to him, but begrudgingly pulled the alchemist's coat tighter around his freezing body. As warmth slowly began to spread through Envy, he allowed himself one small sigh of pleasure.

"Your welcome," Ed said smugly, regarding the green haired boy.

"Can it, shorty," Envy sniffed.

This time, Ed's eyebrow twitched, but other than that, he kept his composure.

"Honestly," Ed muttered, "what are you doing out here, Envy?"

The homunculus stared daggers at the alchemist. What gave him the right to just appear out of nowhere, and strike up a conversation with him? If there was anyone Envy didn't want to see when he was in one of his worst moods, it was Ed. Or his brother, Alphonse, or that infuriating flame alchemist, or-Envy let out a frustrated grunt. It didn't matter who it was, Envy didn't want anyone talking to him right now. But he looked into those inquiring golden eyes-that seemed much wiser than a 15 year old's eyes should be- and Envy realized that though his first instinct had been to punch the other boy in the face, he still hadn't, and was not going to.

Ed propped up his elbow on his knee and rested his chin on his hand. "Are you just feeling sorry for yourself because-"

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself!" Envy spat. Ed looked at him with a sad expression on his face. There it was again. Envy felt like a cage was closing around him, and his heart started to pound. Pity. Edward Elric pitied him. This was Envy's enemy sitting before him, belittling him to some weakling that could only survive because other people PITIED him. Envy fought for a nasty retort that he would usually use in this situation, but none came to mind because, as usual, Envy could not do anything right.

"I'M HATING MYSELF!" he yelled. The words echoed across the rooftop before fading into the night. There was a silence that seemed to speak louder than Envy's shout. Ed's gaze hardened.

"And you're hating me too," Envy said, his voice shaking, "because I'm …" Envy paused. His odd purple eyes met Ed's golden irises.

"Admirable."

Envy almost choked as the word left Ed's mouth.

" _Admirable_ ," Envy spat. "What about this …" he said, looking down at himself shivering underneath Ed's coat, "is admirable?"

"Envy!" Ed yelled at the homunculus, causing him to leap back.

"Would you stop 'hating yourself' and just listen to what I'm saying? Not that hating yourself is very different from feeling sorry …" Ed decided the rest of that sentence was better left unsaid as he noticed Envy's scowl returning.

"What I'm trying to say … is that I don't hate you. I do admire you, Envy. You've been raised in a way that nobody should be raised. You've been taught only violence, and jealousy. Yes, you've struggled with it, but somehow you managed to put on a confident, or should I say overconfident, face every single day."

Envy shied away from Ed. He was finally being praised for something, and it was not even something Envy was particularly proud of. It was something that was tearing him apart.

Ed grabbed Envy's shoulders and pulled him up so he could see his face.

"And that's a terrible way to live. You don't have to live that way anymore."

The homunculus's eyes widened. Ed's kind but tough voice had reached him. Finally, someone had reached him. Envy had though that everyone had given up trying. Or really, Envy had thought that no one had even started. He didn't have to live this way anymore?

"How," Envy started, his breath shaky, "am I supposed to live?"

Ed smiled, and his grip on Envy's shoulders tightened. The homunculus's breath caught as Ed pulled him in close.

"However you like," Ed whispered, right before he leaned in to kiss Envy, his fingers running through the boy's long hair.

Envy could have sworn his heart stopped. The kiss seemed to last for an eternity, and Envy didn't want it to end. This was what it felt like, Envy realized. To be human. To have someone who cared about him, and someone that he could care about in return. Envy felt the warmth of a connection with a person, and it banished the cold more efficiently than Ed's red coat ever could have.

When the alchemist pulled away, Envy leaned forward and let his head rest on Ed's shoulder. His heart had started again and was beating faster than ever before.

"I was wrong," Envy mumbled, "I'm always wrong."

"Envy!" Ed sighed with exasperation. The homunculus laughed, however, a grin spreading across his face.

"I thought I would never get what I wanted." Envy picked up his head to look into Ed's eyes. "I guess I wanted that."

Ed blushed and scratched the back of his head. Envy felt as if he'd been struck by lightning. Energy coursed through his veins, but there were no thoughts going through his head. He resorted to his usual snide comments.

"It's weird seeing this side of you, shorty. You don't seem very tough and brave anymore. You're really acting you height."

Ed silently fumed. "I will ignore that one last time, but if you ever call me short again, I'll be showing you that tough side of myself a whole hell of a lot more!"

Envy grinned, "More, so we will be seeing each other in the near future?"

Ed laughed. "Of course, and I hope we will be seeing each other in the far future as well."


End file.
